Reasons why Chicago is better than Toronto:

1. Its proximity to Gary Indiana
2. The lack of pigeons – there are 8 in total and they act as a family – a wealthy family with a butler to clean up their poop and make the streets immaculate.
3. The Inter-city rail line with a “No shirt – No problem” policy.
4. Its openness to immigrants from the Isle of Mypos.
5. The ease of Chicago bean counting.